At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
