she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
