I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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