Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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(949): View more from California

Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

we have officially mastered the walk of shame

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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(713): View more from Texas

The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Act your age.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.

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(954): View more from Florida

Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call

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