All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He did a backflip because drugs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
