she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
