seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
