Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
