Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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