Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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