if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
