I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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