If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
