I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
