Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
