what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
