I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
