I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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