We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
