Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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