why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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