I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
