Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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