Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
