I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
