Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
