I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
