plz talk dirty to me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
