But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
