I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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