'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
