It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
