He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
