Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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