Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize