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  • Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 9:23pm
  • That's why you don't use purell as lube!

    Submitted by Rysgor on Sep 20, 10 at 9:31pm
  • It's your own fault retard, who does that shit anyway? Seriously? Why would you jerk off with anything that had alcohol in it? Especially this stuff since it evaporates so quickly. Unless you can cum in less than like 15 seconds...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 7:23pm
  • That's a retarded idea

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:14pm
  • 2:24, does this story hit a little too close to home? sorry :(

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:37pm
  • This is Nicholas Folkes, I swear!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 9, 09 at 2:42pm
  • This is a Doug Benson joke.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 4:48pm
  • Trying to get rid of that chlamydia?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:15pm
  • what in the world possessed you to do this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:00pm
  • hahaha damnn u messed up!

    Submitted by goosefraudbitch on Jun 15, 10 at 8:00pm
  • i found out aftershave lotion makes your dick really smooth

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 1:58pm
  • Not goid

    Submitted by FlexATight1 on Jan 12, 11 at 9:08pm
  • i see so many masturbation posts on this site. I didnt realize people sent texts to their friends about getting themselves off. I mean Im not ashamed of it, I talk about it with the girls in person, but I dont send my friends masturbation stories. I dunno...strikes me as odd.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 5:26pm
  • Doug Benson talked about this...

    Submitted by maxzilla1 on May 17, 10 at 5:59pm
  • 2:22... no shit genius.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:24pm
  • and i don't mean put your finger in there on purpose....i mean like bite a nail without thinking or something.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:23pm
  • "too broke to masturbate" too funy !!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 2, 09 at 12:17pm
  • "I hope you all get sick with some kind of sickness." hahahaha..... this sentence is amusing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 09 at 1:29pm
  • LOL what the hell!?!?!?! you would have to reapply every 10 seconds after the shit evaporated!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:02pm
  • It would be someone from Boston....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 11, 09 at 1:27am
  • at least you don't have to wash your hands after!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:07pm
  • Thank you, Explorer..

    Submitted by RoffMain on Sep 1, 11 at 5:44am
  • hahaha ewww. ugh. has anyone ever used purell then put their finger in their mouth afterward? AWFUL. hopefully no girl tries to go down on you after that....although, if you're masturbating with purell something tells me we don't have to worry about that.........

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:22pm
  • If you are into pain that much, you should have stuck a finger covered with Purell up your ass too for that overall experience.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 31, 09 at 1:41pm
  • they're all fake, douche

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 2, 09 at 3:15pm
  • 5:26 - i don't think it's so much about sending texts about getting off, but more about what stupid thing happened during. if i get a text from a buddy that says i'm jacking off, i'm a little taken abackand wonder why it was sent. i get one that says this, i laugh my ass off, call him a fucktard and enjoy the sick humor.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 5:39pm
  • why would you do that to yourself????

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 6:36pm
  • Purell is mostly alcohol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:02pm
  • Ouch... once touched my cooch after using the stuff. It's an awful feeling.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 2:03pm
  • You stay classy, Boston.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 8:55pm
  • You're not supposed to put Purell on your peep. That's just a no-no. Like toothpaste.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 3:05pm
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