i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
