Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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