i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
