I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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