Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
there is glitter all over my balls
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