Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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