Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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