Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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