Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
