I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize