They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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