the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
