Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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