AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize