and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
