apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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