hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize