i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
