So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
