how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
