she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
