Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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