I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How naked do you want me to be?
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