I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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