Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Someone signed my nipple.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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