She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Green mimosas i think yes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
