Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
