We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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