Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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