he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just want to make out with him forever
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
