Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
