what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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