If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
