I'm eating all of the evidence.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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