Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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