we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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