listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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