Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
