i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
